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Communication Articles |
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Contrast Principle Put your left hand in a bowl of cold water and your right in hot water. Leave them there for a while, then plunge both together into a bowl of lukewarm water. The left feels hot and the right will feel cold. This is the principle of Perceptual Contrast by which our senses work. Put light next to dark and it seems lighter. A stale smell will seem worse after a sweet smell. The same effect also applies to more our complex cognitive constructions. We are not good at selecting from a large group as there are too many contrasts to make. When faced with many candidates for a job or many possible suits to purchase, we will rapidly simplify the decision by breaking things down to a very short list. Although we can select from a group of things, we compare best when we have only two things from which to select. In fact, one of the reasons that we do reduce choices to a shortlist is that we have less pairs to compare. Even then, we will break things down further, comparing the top two or three, one again another. A prototype is an idealized stereotype. Sometimes the standard against which we judge other things is a prototype that we have constructed. Thus when house-hunting we will compare each residence against a non-existent prototype which has four bedrooms, a large kitchen and so on. Prototypes, like Frankenstein's monster, are often made up of all the best bits from a wide range of experiences. Thus our prototype house might have our cousin's kitchen, a friend's bathroom and so on. If two women are standing side by side, a man will evaluate one against the other, as the other woman is more immediately available than a recalled prototype. Women, of course, will do the same. In fact we all will tend to use whatever comparators are most available to us at the time of judgment. In our usual lazy mental manner, we are more likely to use the comparator that is easiest to access than one which may be more appropriate. Thus given an unattractive person and an average-looking person, we will judge the average person to be more attractive than if we saw them alone. When evaluating ourselves, the main comparator is other people. We decide how happy, beautiful and so on we are by comparing ourselves with others. In particular we tend to look to peers and people who are 'like us'. Thus rich people compare against other rich people. People for whom being intelligent is important will compare themselves with other clever folks. A result of this is that being rich, powerful, clever and so on is no predictor of happiness. We may strive for success, but if we change our comparators along the way, we will not seem to have achieved that much. Contrast is an important principle by which we make decisions. So to persuade something, we can leverage this by paying attention to these comparisons. Sales people will often use the contrast effect by showing you a poor quality product along with one that they want you to buy. When you compare your ideal purchase with this, you are then likely to re-evaluate it upwards. They will also sell you add-ons. When you buy an expensive car, the optional extras seem very cheap in comparison. The overall trick is in controlling the comparator. Once you have identified the decisions that you want them to make, identify the comparator that they may use and then work to replace it with your comparator. For more persuasion principles, see www.ChangingMinds.org BACK
Dare Principle Dares are often used in groups of young men to challenge one another to perform dangerous feats. Although these can involve physical danger, they are more often social in nature, like a boy is dared to ask a girl out on a date. The psychology of the dare is that the dared person is caught in a double bind. They have the choice of either accepting the dare or appearing like a coward and suffering a social lowering in status. Faced with such a choice, many people accept the dare, attracted as much by the potential kudos as the fear of ridicule. Some people find great pleasure in the thrill that dares create, and saying "I dare you..." to them is like waving a red flag at a bull. Dares can take many forms and can be very subtle. The only qualification is that the target feels impelled to act. You can have group dares (Now who can do this?), reverse dares (I wouldn't if I were you) and more. In shaping a dare, it’s important to understand your adversary so you can act accordingly. For example, for contrarians, imply that they cannot do something. With risk-seekers, make the dare extreme. With extraverts, make sure the dare will have an audience. For more persuasion principles, see www.ChangingMinds.org BACK
Deception Principle Lies are very difficult to pull off since communication includes body language and voice tone. If the other person receives a mixed message , he may detect the deception. To successfully lie, you need first to be able to lie to yourself. If you totally believe what you are saying, then you will be able to tell any lie with complete conviction. A variant of lying is to leave out certain facts. The result is the message may persuade people to do things they would not do if they knew everything. More elaborate deceptions can be used that include factors such as:
Be very careful with deception. If the other person finds out, the betrayed may result in revenge that far outweighs the damage you have done with your deception. For more persuasion principles, see www.ChangingMinds.org BACK
Dependence Principle A common pattern found in persuasive situations is an imbalanced dependence, where person A is more dependent on person B than vice versa. Person B can use this imbalance as a lever to persuade person A. Person B's power may even be expressed as the difference between A's and B's dependence. This imbalance can lead to many forms of coercion, such as blackmail. It can also lead to forms of worship (such as fans fawning over rock starsn their idols) and desperate attempts of the more dependent person to persuade the more powerful one. This imbalance can also lead to anger, betrayal and revenge, as the dependent person seeks to redress the balance. We start life as dependents, initially as helpless babies and later as children, learning so we can free ourselves from our mother's apron strings. But that early and comfortable existence continues to call us and many of us spend our lives trying to recreate those infant feelings of dependent safety. A symptom of this is the way that groups of people will almost always end up with one leader and many happily-dependent followers. Dependence is created when one person has more power than another. In particular control of knowledge and access to rare resources can lead to a queue of people lined up outside your door. So what? Build your knowledge and skills. Acquire control and other forms of power. This can also be used to free yourself from hazardous dependencies. For more persuasion principles, see www.ChangingMinds.org BACK
Distraction Principle Sometimes distraction is to get away from what is not wanted. A way distraction is used in buying and selling is where the focus of the conversation is on, for example, the power or attractiveness of the car, which may distract the buyer away from reliability issues. Procrastination is also a form of self-distraction, where I move myself away from things I do not want to do, to a more 'important' distraction. Distraction can also be towards things which are good, attracting people for example with things that meet their needs (as opposed to threatening their needs). When distracting with something of interest, you can then slip in something that is easy for the other person to accept. Thus someone buying a car might focus hard on safety factors (as a distraction) and then ask casually "insurance is included, of course?" Distraction is often used in hypnotherapy, where the hypnotherapist talks about some triviality with the client or otherwise gets their conscious mind engaged in some problem (the confusion principle can be used this way) while they put the real message through to the subconscious mind. This principle of suggestion can be used without deep trance and in ordinary conversation. By emphasizing key words, you can give two meanings at once: the apparent meaning and the subtle meaning. Distraction is used in all sorts of places. A classic physical method is used by pickpockets, where they will apply sharp pressure to one part of your body, thus distracting your very localized attention while slipping another gentle hand into your pocket. Illusionists do the same visually, providing movement and color where they want you to look, while palming the coin or doing the real business with the other hand. Even martial artists do it, at least in the softer arts, such as Tai Chi and Aikido. Like the pickpockets, they apply sharper pressure at one point to make you resist, and then move you where they want with a gentle palm. The harder arts, like Karate and Kung Fu will deliberately distract you for a moment, such as with a noisy foot-stamp or sudden movement to your face, whilst speeding through with the real power punch. Generals know this principle too: there are many classic military strategies based on distraction. For example, throw a force at a weak point, making the other side rush troops to the rescue, then you apply your main force to the point they have just abandoned. The principles are all the same. Distract you by using the basic rules of sensation, while simultaneously and gently slipping past your guard. So how can you use this technique in day to day living? Focus on what people are interested in and where their attention goes, and then use this to distract towards or away from things as necessary. Make the distractions really interesting by focusing them on needs and goals. For more persuasion principles, see www.ChangingMinds.org BACK
Evidence Principle Evidence, however, comes from outside the other person, which means we cannot attribute it to their person, and must judge it independently. Evidence is particularly powerful for disconfirmation and destroying beliefs. If I find out about my partner cheating on me, faith and trust are instantly destroyed. Such a change can cause a significant emotional response. Evidence is particularly important when we are uncertain. In these situations we go into an "evidence-seeking" mode, where everything is questioned. This is used in social situations when we do not know what to do we often look at other people to see what they are doing. If I want you to behave in some way, then if I act that way, I am providing you with social evidence. This is used by leaders, from wartime leaders displaying faith and courage to business leaders who embody new values and working practices. Evidence can be weak or strong and its credibility may depend on its source and medium. If the evidence can be doubted or ignored then it will have less strength. Increasing evidence that aliens have landed might thus be:
The legal system makes great use of evidence, testing each item and determining if there is a good case. It is played out in a court where hard evidence is the major player, and opinions, even of experts, are of secondary importance. Disconfirmation is critical and one strong piece evidence can swing an entire case. Science is based on objective and measurable evidence. A hypothesis is put forward to explain a phenomenon and then both confirming and disconfirming evidence is sought in a wide range of situations (thus showing where the theory does and does not work). As we know, however, some scientists cherry pick their "facts" to "prove" their hypothesis. Gather evidence both for your argument and against other arguments. Seek objective evidence that cannot be denied. Look for things that will shake the other person's beliefs. Deploy the evidence carefully and according to a planned strategy. For example, you can use a full-frontal assault, battering them into submission with a powerful stream of incontrovertible evidence. You may also plan a longer campaign of attrition, wearing them down with doubt and systematic destruction of their arguments. For more persuasion principles, see www.ChangingMinds.org BACK |
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