Four Lessons in Life
Lesson #1. Everyone Counts   A college professor gave a pop quiz. The last question read: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was a joke. All the students had seen her. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but why would they need to know her name? Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward the grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your life, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello". Her name was Dorothy. 

Lesson #2. Be a Good Samaritan Late one night, an older black woman stood by an Alabama highway in a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she tried to flag a car. A young white man stopped to help her, unheard of at the time. The man helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. A week later, a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a console color TV was delivered with a note attached which read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband before he passed away. God bless you for helping me." Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole

Lesson #3: Overcoming Obstacles Long ago, a king had a boulder placed on roadway. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything to move the stone. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and after much pushing and straining, he succeeded in moving it to the roadside. After he picked up his vegetables, he noticed a purse lying where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king saying that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand: Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve condition. 

Lesson #4: Give When It Counts A little girl suffered from a rare disease and her only chance appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother. The doctor explained the situation to her brother and asked if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. He hesitated briefly before saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay next to his sister and smiled seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I die soon?" The little boy thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her. In spite of that, he was willing to give it all.    BACK

In God We Trust
We are a people that have brought together the most diverse population in history since the days of the Roman Empire. From every tribe, culture, race and creed we have gathered them to our shores. We marvel at that great richness but search our hearts to understand why people are killing each other.

Why it is that Americans can stand together as one human race? It’s not because we all love each other. It's not because we stand together on every issue and it never will be.

The reason that we stand together is because it does not depend upon our opinion, perception, will, choice, legislation or our courts. We stand together because our humanity was created by God. Let that truth inform our laws and they will be just. Let it inform our actions and they will be morally true and compassionate. Let it fill our hearts so we will truly light the world's way to a better future.  Excerpt from Alan Keyes Speech.      BACK

Truth vs. Tolerance
Homeowner associations can sometimes erupt into battlegrounds of conflict. Neighbors don’t always see eye to eye and even challenge the Board’s decisions (believe it or not). As contentious as these events can be, there is another more subtle presence called "tolerance" that directly affects the outcome. Tolerance used to mean "live and let live". This philosophy works great (as long as your neighbor isn’t a drug dealer). But the meaning of tolerance is undergoing a metamorphosis. From Josh McDowell:

"Tolerance has become the cardinal virtue of our society. We hear it preached from school, government and the media. Yet few of us understand that it’s the central doctrine of an entire cultural movement. The traditional definition of tolerance means simply to recognize and respect others' beliefs and practices without necessarily agreeing or sympathizing with them. That everyone is entitled to his own opinion is what tolerance used to mean for most of us.

But today's definition is vastly different. The new tolerance means not only does everyone have an equal right to his beliefs, but all beliefs are equal. The new tolerance demands praise and endorsement of another's beliefs. That fundamental change in meaning represents a great shift in history and has some significant ramifications:

The repression of public discourse. In a country where right to free speech is a given, now deeply held beliefs are challenged by people who say, "How dare you say that?" or "Who do you think you are?" The issue is no longer the truth of a message, but the right to proclaim it. In the new cultural climate, any unpopular message can be labeled "intolerant" and therefore be repressed.

The privatization of convictions. Because the new tolerance declares all beliefs equally valid, some face pressure to be silent about their convictions because to speak out will be seen as an intolerant.

Response to the new tolerance requires effort in:
Pursuit of truth. Pursuing truth means to embrace all people, but not all beliefs. It means listening to and learning from all people without necessarily agreeing with them. It means speaking the truth even if it triggers scorn.

Practice love.  Love is incompatible with the new tolerance. Tolerance simply avoids offending someone while love actively seeks to promote the good of another person. Tolerance glorifies division; love seeks unity. Tolerance risks nothing; love risks everything. The new tolerance can be averted with a commitment to truth, justice and love. And, as it happens, these virtues can bring about true community in the midst of disagreement."

How does your Board approach community issues...tolerance or truth? Tolerance is a wild river pushing everything aside while the truth will open the door that sets you free.      BACK

The Last Cookie
A woman bought a bag of cookies, put them in her purse and went to the park to watch the birds. She sat on a park bench and quickly became distracted by two squirrels fighting over a nut. An elderly man sat on the same bench and gazed around quietly. The lady’s concentration was suddenly broken by the sound of munching. She looked down and saw the bag of cookies was open, and, in amazement, she saw the man dip his hand in and take one!

"The nerve!" she thought. She reached in the bag and took one for herself. The man dipped in the bag for another cookie. "Well, I never!..." she fumed under her breath as she quickly dove in for another. No sooner had she retrieved one then he did the same. This see-saw action continued until the lady noticed the man reach for the last cookie. As she glared at him, he silently broke it and extended the bigger half to her. She snatched it angrily, grabbed her purse and stormed away in a huff!

Later that evening, still incensed about the man’s audacity, she decided to go to the store for another bag of cookies. This time she would make sure no thieves were nearby. She opened her purse to retrieve her car keys and there, staring back at her, were her unopened bag of cookies.

Things are not always what they seem, yet our perceptions can shape powerful prejudices in our minds and lives. These "pre-judgments" keep us separated from caring people. Be careful you don’t exclude certain people from your life simply because you don’t immediately understand them. Cutting through prejudice is the first step in that right direction.     BACK

Reflecting Light
At the last session of a two-week seminar on Greek culture, Dr. Papaderos turned and made the ritual gesture: "Are there any questions?" Quiet quilted the room. These two weeks had generated enough questions for a lifetime, but there was only silence. 

"No questions?" Papaderos swept the room with his eyes. So, I asked, "Dr. Papaderos, what is the meaning of life?" The usual laughter followed, and people stirred to go. 

Papaderos looked at me for a long time, asking with his eyes if I was serious and seeing from my eyes that I was replied, "I will answer your question." 

Taking his wallet out of his hip pocket, he fished into a leather billfold and brought out a very small round mirror, about the size of a quarter. He said, "When I was a small child, during the war, we were very poor and we lived in a remote village. 

One day, on the road, I found the broken pieces of a mirror from a German motorcycle that had wrecked there. "I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible. So I kept the largest piece and by scratching it on a stone, I made it round. I played with it and became fascinated that I could reflect light into dark places where the sun would never shine. It became a game for me to get light into the most inaccessible places I could find. "As I grew, I’d take it out in idle moments and continue the game. 

I came to understand that it represented what I could do with my life. I understood that I am not the light or the source of light. But light--truth, understanding, knowledge--is there, and it will only shine in dark places if I reflect it. "I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have I can reflect light into the dark places of this world--into the black places in the hearts of men--and change some things in some people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is the meaning of life." And then he took his small mirror, caught the bright rays of light streaming through the window and reflected them onto my face. By Robert Fulghum    BACK

Drawbridges & Moats
A phenomena of our time is the rate at which international barriers have tumbled. Today, people of all nations - even former antagonists - look beyond their own borders to conduct trade, to gather and dispense information, and to promote alliances. Within the United States, however, an opposite trend is taking place. While record numbers of Americans are benefiting from an increasingly borderless world of commerce, many of these same Americans are erecting borders around their private lives.

The trend is particularly evident in gated communities which impose separation by a variety of means: Fences, walls, swing gates and warning signs are common. Some communities build moats. Others use surveillance cameras, motion detectors and infra-red sensors to achieve a fortress-like environment.

Communities with controlled access are not new. Llewellyn Park in West Orange, New Jersey, built in the 1850s, has a gatehouse that even today is staffed around the clock. Many of the gated streets of St. Louis - developed in the late 1800s for the city's brewery, beef and rail barons - still exist. In more recent years, gated entries have become a regular feature of retirement villages, especially in Arizona and Florida. What is new, however, is the speed with which the number of such enclaves are growing. One indication of this speed is the almost explosive growth in the number of homeowner associations. Functioning as mini-governments, these powerful associations regulate virtually every visible aspect of life in condominiums, cooperatives and gated communities.

In 1962, residential associations numbered fewer than 500. By 1970, there were 10,000; by 1980, 55,000; by 1990, 130,000. By 1992, the number had risen to 150,000. This number is now estimated at 300,000 associations with 50,000,000 residents.

Gated communities are most numerous in large metropolitan and coastal areas of the United States, the largest concentrations are in Arizona, California, Florida, New York and Texas. As such construction has proliferated, the price tag has dropped and the market has broadened. Once affordable only to the very wealthy which included highly-paid executives and celebrities, homes in today's gated communities are designed to appeal to middle class buyers with young families. Some are designed to appeal to single women whose needs are security, convenience and low-maintenance, commonly featured amenities of gated communities.

Fear of crime is clearly the driving force behind the growth of gated communities. Statistics reveal that concern is well founded. Control of crime is made more difficult by the frequent reshuffling of urban population demographics. Dislocation caused by corporate restructuring, family disintegration, abandonment of inner-city homes and businesses, and high levels of immigration transform many cities into mere holding areas for unfamiliar, transient people who contribute little to the stability of a community.

To these factors is added the recognition that crime has become more random. It's hard to find safe havens anymore. Although the idea of building walled developments is considered by some to run counter to Americans' cherished rights of free association and expression, given the crime in the nation's cities, the decision to live in protected environments is not unreasonable.

Even residents of gated communities located far from inner city crime regard their neighborhoods as islands of safety. In a national survey of such residents, 97% of respondents indicated that security was an important consideration in their buying decision and 70% believed that less crime occurred in their community than in the surrounding neighborhoods. This belief appears to be valid. Reports from one large southeastern city indicate that its gated communities experienced a notable drop in car theft and an accompanying, though smaller, drop in other crimes when compared with the incidence of crime in the city at large.

In addition, homes in gated communities maintain their value. Statistics published by the professional organization for urban planners show that during the real estate glut of the 1980s, prices of gated community homes were affected less than those in non-gated areas.

Part of the reason such properties hold or increase value is that they are not allowed to fall victim to destructive forces on either side of the gate. Gated communities carefully monitor zoning and building plans for adjacent tracts. Within their perimeters, they are protected by stringent and extensive regulations that are viewed by residents less as encroachments on personal freedoms than as preservers of an idealized environment. Residents know that the restrictions are buffers against annoying nuisances, unpleasant surprises and poor taste. They know that the rules will keep life predictable and property values up, and that's what they want.

Gated communities are a privatization movement that heralds a fundamental change in community life. It reasserts individual control over matters of personal safety. Much of the shift stems from the diminishing confidence in law enforcement and to reverse the effects of societal decay.

Despite the protection afforded by fortified perimeters and advanced technological systems, gated communities are not entirely crime free. Because gates cannot protect residents from themselves, some communities still experience vandalism and domestic violence. Nor can gates always protect residents from determined criminals.

Indeed, some believe that fortifications simply announce the presence of something worth taking. Professional burglars actually target gated communities. Savvy thieves know, too, that at night many gatehouses are unstaffed and that cameras and other security measures can be decoys.

Fearful of liability suits, developers do not promise safety and security, opting instead to emphasize a community's cozy and friendly environment. Complacency of residents also contributes to crime in gated communities. Many, believing that they are living in a crime-free environment, actually invite victimization by failing to take security precautions.

Although today's gated enclaves are deterrents to crime, they are not cures. Those who live behind their gates should remain involved to address the thorny problems that give rise to crime. It is only then that all citizens can move freely in society at large.   Excerpts from article by Stephen R. Olsen   BACK

Now You Know
Napoleon's troops were battling in a small Russian town when he was separated from his men. A group of Cossacks spotted and chased him through the twisting streets. Napoleon ducked into a furrier's shop in an alley. Gasping for breath, he cried to the furrier, "Save me! Where can I hide?" The furrier said, "Quick, under this big pile of furs," and he covered Napoleon up with many furs. 

No sooner had he finished than the Cossacks burst in the door shouting, "Where is he? We saw him come in." Despite the furrier's protests, they tore his shop apart looking for the Frenchman. They poked into the furs with their swords but didn't find him. They finally gave up and left. 

Napoleon crept out from under the furs unharmed just as his personal guards came in the door. The furrier said to him timidly, "What was it like under there, knowing that the next moment might be your last?" Napoleon replied indignantly, "How could you ask me, the Emperor Napoleon, such a question? Guards, take this impudent man out, blindfold him and execute him. I will personally give the command to fire!" 

The guards grabbed the furrier, dragged him outside, stood him against a wall and blindfolded him. He could see nothing, but heard the guards shuffle into line and prepare their rifles. Then he heard Napoleon clear his throat and call out, "Ready! Aim!" In that moment, the condemned man was overcome with emotion and tears poured down his cheeks.

Suddenly, the blindfold was stripped from his eyes! Although partially blinded by the sunlight, he could see Napoleon's eyes looking intently into his own -- eyes that pierced his very soul. He said, "Now you know." 

There are some things that simply can’t be described to you if you haven't experienced them for yourself. Having a loved one die is an example. Your friends try to comfort you with, "I understand," but deep down you know they don't. They can't. Not without experiencing it for themselves. And you wouldn't wish that on them. It also means, though, that you are able to minister to people who are suffering the way you have suffered. Those painful experiences allow you to feel for others in a different way. And you really do know. Let them know.  BACK

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