After several years, the Shah’s grief had given way to a passion for the project. One day while surveying the site, he stumbled over a weathered wooden box and had it thrown out. Later, he realized that it was his wife’s casket. The original purpose for the memorial became lost in the details of the construction project.

This story has a familiar theme. How many of us intent on great accomplishments lose sight of what really is important...our family and friendships. This same thought applies to the board of homeowner associations. Personal agendas can sometimes run roughshod over community interests. If you serve on the board, remember to always keep the association’s interest in the forefront. As you build your Taj Mahal, don’t lose sight of the reason you’re doing it.  BACK

Ready To Receive?
One by one they were taken from me all the things I valued most; 
Until I was empty-handed, every glittering toy was lost.

And then I walked the earth grieving, in my rags and poverty. 
Until I heard His voice inviting, "Lift those empty hands to Me!"

I turned my hands toward heaven, and He filled them with a store 
Of His own abundant riches, Until they could contain no more.

And at last I comprehended with my stupid mind so dull, 
That God can’t pour His riches into hands already full.  BACK

Neighbor Knowledge
One of any homeowner association’s challenges is helping neighbors "make nice". The board is frequently called on to mediate disputes and fine neighbors for doing bad things. Actually, it’s not the board’s job and in most cases, except those that directly impact the common area, these "opportunities" should be bounced back to the complainer to handle.

What exactly is a "good" neighbor? To be one, you don’t need to be friends or hang out together. Being a good neighbor is an attitude. A good neighbor attitude allows you to live as privately or as sociably as you wish. Here’s how to cultivate and nurture it:

Meet Them. While marching up to their door with hand extended is great, the chance encounter works well too. Introduce yourself at the mailbox, while walking the dog or when you take out the trash. Learn their names and offer a cordial "Hello" or "Good Morning" when you see them.

Keep Them Informed. Contact them before undertaking something that might affect them, such as hosting a big party, building a fence, cutting down a tree or getting a dog.

Be Aware of Differences. Age, faith, ethnic background and marital status can drastically affect lifestyles. Be aware of the differences between you but home in on what you have in common.

Point of View. From your neighbor’s viewpoint, how does your compost pile, swingset or junk car look? Would you like that view? (If you do, refer to your neighbor’s viewpoint).

Be Appreciative. If a neighbor does something you like, tell them! They’ll be pleased that you noticed the new awning, patio furniture, plants, etc..

Assume the Best. Most people don't intentionally create problems. Assume the neighbor doesn’t know about the annoyance when you speak to them.. Your delivery will be dramatically kinder. And assume they will be cooperative.

Be Candid. If your neighbors do something that bothers you, let them know as soon as possible.

Be Calm. When discussing a point of contention, speak calmly, listen carefully and thank them for telling you how they feel. You don’t have to agree or justify your behavior. If you don’t react defensively, anger usually subsides, lines of communication remain open and resolution is possible.

Take Your Time. If caught in angry confrontation, take a break to reflect and finish the discussion when cooler heads prevail. Don’t leave it hanging. Time and lack of resolution will intensify hostilities.

Best Advice of All. Treat others as you would like to be treated. This attitude will pave the way for good neighborliness. Love your neighbor as yourself.  BACK

Interview with God
I dreamt I had an interview with God. "So you would like to interview me?" God asked. "If you have the time," I said. God smiled. "My time is eternity." "What questions do you have in mind for me?"

"What surprised you most about mankind?"

God answered, "That they get bored with childhood. They rush to grow up and then long to be children again. They lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither in the present or the future. That they live as if they will never die and die as if they have never lived.

God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked, "As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?"

God replied with a smile. "To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. What they can do is let themselves be loved.

And to learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. To learn that a rich person is not the one that has the most but is one who needs the least. To learn that it takes only a few seconds to open profound wounds in people we love and it takes many years to heal them. To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness. To learn that there are persons who love them dearly but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings. To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently. To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others but they must forgive themselves.

And to learn that I am here...always. BACK

Tyranny of Giving
There is both a wonder and tyranny about Christmas. There is wonder in the brisk air and rosy glow on the cheeks of passer bys. But the season also imposes its tyranny on many of us. Instead of being able to give out of love, we often give because it’s "expected". No wonder the joy of giving manifests itself in panicked despair.

Love is more than words, more than a feeling and more than doing what's convenient. Love means getting down in the ditch with someone to give them what they really need. By Wayne Rice  BACK