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Only 58 Cents
Jonathan was in the check out line at the market and was told he couldn’t use his credit card because the computer was down. Since he was short 58 cents in cash, he sighed and asked the clerk to cancel the transaction.

The man standing next in line overheard the incident and silently handed the clerk a dollar bill saying he would pay the difference. Jonathan refused the kind offer but the man’s persistence prevailed. Finally, he countered, "Okay, where do you live so I can repay you?" The man replied, "Not necessary. It’s only 58 cents."

Yes, it was only 58 cents, not even enough to buy a few loaves of bread and a couple of small fish. Yet, to Jonathan, the offer contradicted his jaded view of life. It made him pause and consider the sizeable impact a small gesture can have. It made him smile. It caused a change in him for the better. Only 58 cents? I don’t think so.  BACK


A Bitter Pill
In every community, there are people that suffer from bitterness. Bitterness is the belief that a wrong has been done and that hatred of the wrong doer will punish that person. But bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die. Day after day, the offended dwells on the hurt and relives the pain over and over again.

In the movie Ground Hog Day, a newscaster played by Bill Murray was forced to relive the same day over thirty times, in spite of his many attempts to change the outcome, including suicide. But bitter people replay the hurt and don’t want the outcome to change. They feel justified in their outrage. Someone is to blame and must be hated for it. It’s an attempt to control something that is beyond control...the past. Since it’s rooted in the past, the present or future can do nothing to change it. So, bitterness is enslaved to futility.

Our creator has every reason to be bitter. He gave us life, a veritable paradise in which to live and provided for all our needs. But we turn our backs on him, insult and mock him. We make believe we created ourselves or happened by chance. We revel in our own foolish thinking.

Yet, rather than be bitter, God has chosen to forget and forgive. Forgetting doesn’t erase the harm done. The harm is done. But his choosing not to remember the damage done erases the bitterness and allows forgiveness to take its place. But he took forgiveness one step further. He died to show his love for us. It was a bitter pill, not born of bitterness but of willingness to take us back.

If the Creator of the Universe can be free of bitterness, we should strive to do no less. Bitterness only crowds out the great things he has in store for each of us. Lay bitterness aside and be amazed at what takes its place.  BACK


Staking a Claim
In garden or townhouse style condominiums, a curious phenomena takes place: Certain owners feel compelled to stake claim to the common area adjacent to their units. This takes on many forms. Some commandeer adjacent grounds for personal plantings, even running irrigation systems through it. Some expand their patio or deck into it. Some build storage sheds in it or place hot tubs there. Some brazenly fence off "their" yard.

Another form of claim staking involves expanding personal living quarters into attic or crawlspaces when the architecture permits. Unit owners have been known to mole into crawlspaces to build wine cellars, extra bedrooms and storage bunkers. It’s not uncommon to find certain residents growing "exotic plants" in the attic, out of sight of drug enforcement. Have you ever seen a strange violet glow coming from attic vents after dark? Aha!

Condominium ownership is usually defined in the governing documents as "from the decorated surface of the unit in". Admittedly, condo living is not for everyone. Folks that are used to digging in the dirt and redesigning their home are not going to be comfortable with these boundaries. They crave what Hitler called "leibensraum", more living room. While these folks don’t use guns and tanks when they expand, they often feel they have the right to take over whatever common area space adjoins their unit. And sometimes, the Board agrees and approves them doing it.

The problem is, neither an owner or the Board has the authority to reallocate common area unless 100% of the members agree to it by amending the governing documents. Another more practical consideration is that these modifications often impact the ability of the HOA to properly maintain the grounds and buildings. For example, improperly installed decks are a common source of dryrot to the buildings. Add on rooms in the attic or crawlspace cause additional intra-unit noise and fire hazard potential.

It is very important for the Board to understand it’s role as Defender of the Common Area. The common area belongs to all members and no one owner has the right to stake claim to it. Preventing claim staking requires constant vigilance by the Board. Once one unit owner is allowed to stake claim, others will quickly follow suit thinking if it’s okay for one, it’s okay for all. Soon, there will be multiple violations and the Board will have a heck of a time trying to undo it all. Be watchful and preempt these moves early.

If the horse is already out of the barn and there are already multiple violations, it’s time to determine the scope of the problem and prioritize the violations according to flagrancy. Curb appeal issues directly impact market values so violations of this kind you would want to deal with more aggressively. Violations like fencing, decks or storage sheds, or added rooms are the next priority. More minor offenses like owner planting beds, lawn ornaments, furniture and whirlygigs are lower priority.

If there are multiple violations of a common sort, it’s best to address them simultaneously to avoid the "What about so and so? They have one too" defense. The Board should have a cohesive strategy for responding to every violation. It’s important that individual board members do not negotiate with violators or give them the impression it’s no big deal because this will undermine Board authority. Besides, these violations are a big deal and appeals should be addressed only to the Board as a whole by holding an appeal meeting with all the players present. That way, when the defense is presented and the Board decision is made, everyone is informed.

Some owners may have a valid defense for their violation or have obtained written approval from a prior Board (curses!!!). In those cases, the current Board should try to negotiate a dismantling date, even if that date is when the owner sells the property. Whatever the outcome is, it should be formalized in a recordable document that is signed by filed against the unit title so future the owner and the Board President and buyers are informed of the deal.

Claim staking is as natural as the sun rising. It is bound to happen sooner or later in some form or another. It’s up to the Board to be aware and prepared to defend the common area from claim jumpers.   BACK


The Seven Wonders
A group of students were asked to list the "Seven Wonders of the World." The following received the most votes:

  1. Great Pyramids
  2. Empire State Building
  3. Taj Mahal
  4. St. Peter's Basilica
  5. Grand Canyon
  6. China's Great Wall
  7. Panama Canal

The teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. She asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little." The teacher said, "Well, what do you have so far?." The girl read:

  1. To see
  2. To feel
  3. To hear
  4. To laugh
  5. To touch
  6. To taste
  7. To love

The simple things we overlook are truly wondrous! The most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.
  BACK


Constructive Conflict
While conflict is inevitable in a homeowner association, there are choices about how it’s dealt with. When handled constructively, conflict can create a healthier awareness and better relationships.

Conflict rarely gets better with time. If allowed to fester by avoidance or grow by ongoing aggression, the feuding parties become more entrenched in their positions and arriving at resolution becomes more difficult. Resolution is most easily achieved early on. Here are the steps to getting it done:

Speak Directly. Speaking directly with the person with whom you have the problem, assuming that there is no threat of violence, will usually resolve the issue. Meet in person or talk over the phone to explain your concern in a positive, respectful way. (Anonymous letters, banging on the wall or complaining to your neighbors does not qualify.)

Plan Your Approach. Think about what you want to say in advance. Talk about the problem as you see it and how it affects you. Help the other party understand that a problem exists and invite them to help you find a solution that you can both live with.

Choose a Good Time. Consider a time when you think the other person will be most receptive. A quiet place where you won’t be easily disturbed, perhaps with a cup of coffee, can make it easier to talk and listen. Avoid cocktail hour.

Communicate Openly and Honestly. Express a positive attitude about working together to find solutions. Blaming the other person makes it harder for him to hear and understand your concerns. Remain open to a different perspective than your own and try to understand it.

Listen. Give the other person a chance to explain their view, concerns and feelings. Summarize what you hear and ask questions to clarify your understanding. Understanding doesn’t mean that you agree. But just echoing another’s thoughts goes along way toward compromise.

Open Up. Get the issues and feelings out in the open. Don't ignore the part that seems too "difficult" or "minor". Your resolution will be durable if the issues are considered and addressed.

Consider Options. Be creative and offer solutions that you both think might work. Cooperating to find a solution is much more effective than one person demanding that the other change.

Be SMART. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely. For example, "Beginning tomorrow, I’ll turn down my music by 9:30. If I forget, call me and let me know."

Keep the Door Open. Agree to revisit the issue to make sure your agreement is working. Communicate immediately if the solutions are not having the desired effect. Congratulate yourselves on working together to resolve the problem.

Building a lasting resolution from conflict can not only solve an immediate problem, but opens the door to better understanding and even, possibly, a lasting friendship. Don’t preclude the latter. Build on your success and miracles can happen.

For more on this topic, see the Dispute Resolution section.   BACK


Keeping the Faith
America is engaged in a war of cultures, in case you missed it. Almost daily there seems to be some crisis somewhere relating to religious expression. The tone of these cases is that religious expression is undesirable in the public forum and needs to be squelched. While the right to speak should restrict yelling "FIRE" in a crowded theater, expressions of faith are no different than any other form of free speech. If it is not allowable, than what’s next to be censored, the Pledge of Allegiance? (Oops, too late!)

Homeowner associations have a unique opportunity to reverse or moderate these attacks on America’s traditional values and liberties. As private organizations, they have the right and flexibility to decide how issues of faith expression are dealt with and avoid the nonsense of political correctness.

While HOAs can’t enact rules and regulations that contradict the Bill of Rights, they do have some latitude on how these rights are played out. Free speech can be restricted on private property. One example that comes to mind is limiting personal signs in the common area. In other words, the fact that America enjoys free speech doesn’t entitle a citizen to crash a private party to express it. So it is with signs. HOAs can control or restrict signs in the common area if that’s what the members want.

When it comes to religion, homeowner associations are not faith free zones. As private organizations, the members are free to do whatever is legal in their own homes and whatever the board feels appropriate in the common area. There are several faith related issues that seem to cause confusion and consternation in HOAs: holding religious services in the clubhouse and hanging Christmas ornaments in the common area. How are they best handled?

Religious Services in the Clubhouse. HOA clubhouses are generally made available for the private use by members and residents. If a resident wants to host a poker party, a quilting club or High Mass, they are all legal activities in every state of the country and, as such, the HOA should not have a policy restricting the activity.

There are some limiting factors which may be included:

  • Restricting Outside Groups. The HOA may have a restriction that limits use to residents and their guests and preclude outside groups from using the facility if no resident is involved.

  • Limiting Access to Schedule. There may be limitations placed on a resident who wants to monopolize the clubhouse schedule for a set time each week indefinitely.

  • Charging a Fee. The HOA can invoke a reasonable fee for private use since use creates wear and tear on the facilities.

  • Restricting Private Use. The HOA is not obligated to allow private use of the clubhouse but since most clubhouses are rarely used, unless there is a compelling reason to restrict use, there generally should be a provision for member use.

Christmas Ornaments. Another controversial topic that comes up is whether the HOA should allow Christmas ornaments to be displayed. There seems to be an impression by some that all ornaments should be forbidden. The real answer is "yes and no": It’s really up to the members or the Board acting on behalf of the members to decide and that decision only should impact the general common area. If decorating the common area is something most of the residents feel appropriate, form a committee of interested residents to place decorations that express Christmas, winter, Santa Claus or whatever.

As a matter of policy, the Board can take several approaches:

1. Invite all faiths to help decorate the common area along tasteful guidelines.
2. Limit common area decorations to lights.
3. Prohibit all decorations to avoid controversy.

Demonstrations of religious expression may be just the opportunity a resident curmudgeon needs to beat the drum of discontent. There may even be threat of lawsuits. The last thing the HOA needs is a brouhaha during holidays which are supposed to represent "peace on earth and good will to men". By the same token, the Board should not get railroaded by Grinches regardless of the season. In the final analysis, peaceful religious expression builds stronger community and these activities can be used to harmonize the community. Keep the faith!   BACK

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